My Happiness

I shouldn’t say this but I’m happy. Chopra said it will disappear as soon as I acknowledge it. But it’s not gone yet. I’m just really happy. What does it feel like? Well it’s going to be different for me than it will be for you. If what I feel could be made into a scene in my life movie it would be described like this:

The sky is a mix between royal blue and the blue that glaciers sometimes get. The sun is huge and orange. The grass is emerald green and soft. Everything is in its most vivid color. It’s the perfect temperature where I’m perfectly warm but there’s a breeze that just helps me breathe in the air deeper. Like it’s pushing all of nature into me with every breath. I’m lying on that grass and I can hear the crashing waves of the ocean. My land is on top of a cliff. Of course the edge has a fence – it makes me feel safe. While I lay there, eyes closed, sun warming my face I can hear my dogs running around playing. They’re full of joy and freedom. I’m enveloped in everything that inspires me. Sometimes I picture the house behind me. I can’t see it too good yet but so far what I know is that it’s cream colored stucco. Spanish style. It has flowering vines covering part of the wall and the vines are slowly creeping to the upstairs balcony with the big French doors. For some reason I’m in jeans …not sure what that means. But life is beautiful and I’m perfectly happy. That is what my happiness looks like.

What would yours look like?

Sad Is an Understatement

We're all family here so I'll tell you all a little secret that I hide away most of the time.

Depression. (Queue scary music).

Yes Jenny Fitmagnet has gone through times of depression. I'm not ashamed of it. I don't go around shouting it from the rooftops because the truth is that I learned how to control it. I'm not going to go into the positive thinking rant (although I may later on) but I am going to go on an education rant.

I remember as a small child being sad for no reason. I don't know maybe I would act that way to get attention. I mean what does a 5 year old have to feel sad about right? Anyhoo, the sadness was ignored. Then in elementary school I moved from one school to another and lets just say the sadness and anxiety intensified. OMG I just remember crying every single day in 5th grade! Now let me tell you this - (I believe in God by the way) - God was very good to me. Instead of allowing myself to isolate myself in a corner to cry HE/SHE brought me new friends. I was never alone, I was never an outcast, I had friends that were kind enough to just let me cry. Isn't that sweet?

Then puberty hit and holy mother of all goodness PMS hit me. PMS for me at twelve was insane. It was the first time that I realized that I had a bad problem. Depression. While I would feel a little sad every day normally, 2 weeks out of the month I was terribly depressed. I'm talking wearing black, closing the blinds, locking my bedroom door, sleeping or writing horribly depressing poetry.

Now here's where the lines get blurry. Was I depressed because of a hormonal imbalance? Or was I depressed because I was overweight and insecure? Probably both. At 16 I began to see a psychologist. The first guy was this quack that changed his accent every time he spoke to my parents. He would talk normally to me then when he spoke to my Colombian parents (they had a spanish accent) suddenly he was speaking like he just got off a plane from his native country. And i'm supposed to ask this guy for help? Anyhoo, the second doctor was racist. So he lasted a couple of weeks and that was it. Then the third doctor was a charm. She was a beautiful, smart, compassionate woman that helped me sort out the mess in my brain.

The shrink sessions helped but come PMS time I was still a mess. Finally I'm 18 and I think hmmmm time to get me some birth control pills. I'm a liberated woman why the hell not?! Well to tell you the truth I was brought up Catholic by my mother who is nearly a saint and my father who almost became a priest (no lie). So my liberation was a secret for a long long time LOL.

Wouldn't you know it that my depression lessened (it wasn't the sex believe me - Catholic guilt still kept that under wraps lol). Then my oldest sister told me that to avoid cramps she would take the birth control pill without the 1 week break you're supposed to take. I tried that and low and behold depression was out of here!

Fast forward to November of this year 2010. Life was a little hectic. I took a vacation to Florida and missed a couple of pills. My parents and sister visited from Florida and I missed a couple of pills. Thanksgiving came and went and I missed a couple of pills. See where I'm going here? Let's just say I hit a depression wall at 90 miles per hour. One day my boyfriend comes into the office and I'm sobbing. He asks "What's the matter?" and I say "I don't know I'm just sad" and he says "About what", Me "I don't know I'm just depressed", Him "Did I do anything? Can I do anything for you?", Me "No I just have to ride it out". It was such a pathetic scene. At least I had the mindset to start taking the damn pill right away and to work out. That was one thing that I was grateful for that my workout addiction was still in the forefront.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that depression is real. It happens to the happiest of us. It's ok. Just get help. If you can't do it on your own then its OK to get a little pill help. Don't be embarrassed because after all at the end of the day who are you left with? Yourself! Do you want to be stuck with a Debby Downer? No!!! So if you feel depressed start researching it. Find ways to elevate your mood. For me it was as simple as going on birth control. You may need Zoloft who knows! Just don't feel hopeless and let yourself suffer.

Here's a great website that can get you started:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml

3rd Step to Weight Loss

Let's review shall we:

Step 1 - Be honest with yourself

Step 2 - Set yourself up for success

Step 3 - Know your obstacles

I'm going to sound like a broken record but please do not lose focus on your goal. Please know that every tiny step you take will amount to a great destination in the end. It may take a while to get there but it's all worth it when you arrive. Just stick with me here.

So have you ever gotten ready to leave for vacation and when you're on the plane you suddenly remember you forgot to pack your underwear? Or your toothbrush? Or some other essential toiletry? You made a checklist before you left that you read fifty times while packing just to realize as the jet engines fire up that you forgot to put something important on it (like undies and a toothbrush). There's your first obstacle for that vacation trip. So you freak out a little then you realize undies and toothbrushes are pretty common and you can probably get some at the airport your arriving in right? Obstacle conquered! This is the same idea with losing weight.

There are days when you planned everything perfectly. You ate perfectly, you worked out perfectly, you weighed yourself and 2 perfect lbs were lost and the night ends perfectly. Then there are days like... (queue scary music) ...BIRTHDAY PARTIES and THANKSGIVING DINNER where your perfect meal wasn't even a thought in your brain. Then you're gonna come home and do the most God awful thing we all do...You're gonna weight yourself to see how much damage you've done. Then you're gonna hate yourself 'cause you feel like a failure. Whoa-is-me. (OOOO so scary how I can read your mind)

Snap out of it! You didn't hate yourself when you left out undies and a toothbrush on your vacation checklist. All you did was make a quick plan to overcome that obstacle. That's exactly what you need to do when you have a "bad" day. You regroup, you pull out your notepad and you start planning your weight loss recovery. You don't sit there and wallow in it. You plan. (This is also good when dealing with every crisis).

So how do you recover from a bad day?

1) You plan out your meals for the upcoming week.

Take the time out and just do it. The quicker you can snap out of the food fest mentality the quicker you can recover. If you linger in the "bad" zone you'll do more damage.

2) You write down ideas on how to avoid overdoing it at the next party or planned "bad" day.

For example I promised myself that I will make an effort to focus on people more than the food. I also eat something filling and healthy before I go to the party so that I'm not sticking my face in the chip dip.

3) Don't weigh yourself for 4 days after the "bad" day.

Why is this important? Because our bodies are tricky. You can have the best meal ever but if there was too much salt your body is going to retain water and the scale is going to make you think you just ate at the Chinese buffet. Just don't torture yourself like this especially after knowing that you ate horribly.

When you hit an obstacle like a "bad" food day promise yourself you'll plan on how to recover.

Family is another obstacle but we'll get to that in due time. I really just want you to get over that hurdle of "Crap! I messed up, I gained 3 lbs in one night, I suck at this, and I'm just gonna have pizza for the rest of my life 'cause I'm meant to be overweight". Get over that please!!!

We're human, we weren't meant to be perfect, just keep moving on and you'll get to where you want to go :)

What the hell is Beachbody?

It's no secret by now that I am a loyal Beachbody customer.

Whose Beachbody? They are the company that produces those nifty workouts that you see on late night infomercials:

P90x, Brazil Butt Lift, TurboJam, Slim in 6, Insanity...

My loyalty began when I purchased TurboJam for some extra cardio. Then it I got Chalean Extreme for strength training. Now I'm feeling the burn with TurboFire. After I'm done with TurboFire I will move on to P90x, Insanity, Brazil Butt Lift, and RevAbs (can't wait!). Yes that's almost a year and half of preplanned workouts.

Now I'm hooked on Shakeology (awesome stuff)!

So here I am hooked to their workouts and now this wonderful milk shake but dang this addiction is a little expensive. So a friend introduced me to the coaching opportunity. All she had to say was 25% off discount and I signed right up.

So I became a Beachbody coach customer. That means I was in it for the discount and not the business. Slowly but surely people started noticing my weight loss and my muscles peeking through. They asked "What are you doing?", "Why do you look thinner every time I see you?" , "Wow look at your biceps!" (ok that last one is just me admiring myself in the mirror) . I was talking about the products because I was a product of the product. It was so easy! "This is what I'm doing and here's my website" that was my answer. No selling just telling.

What became "just a discount" became a passion. I love helping people. I love telling you what worked for me and what didn't. I love hearing about your successes and setbacks.

Not only was I able to channel my desire to help others but I was given guidance to help myself. I became motivated to read more books like the "Slight Edge", "The Power", "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". I also got turned on to books on audio like "Eat that Frog!". All of these have helped me become more organized, more accountable, more aware of my actions and more motivated to become a better me.

The business and discount are secondary. The $15 per month for my own website is a bonus but the person that I've grown into is priceless!

This is why I do what I do.

Shop for products @ www.teambeachbody.com/benjiville
Sign up to be a coach (free to join until 12/31/10) @ https://teambeachbody.com/signup/-/signup/coach?referringRepId=45591

2nd Step to Weight Loss

The 2nd step to weight loss is much easier than the first step:

Set yourself up for Success!

You're probably thinking "Well duh" but don't you dare "duh" me!

The truth is that often we go into a diet and workout plan spontaneously. We have a bad weekend of self loathing and depression and suddenly decide that Monday is the day our life will change. We're motivated, we're pumped, we're ready to lose our first five pounds and then we open the fridge and find nothing good. Then we feel let down. We start to think how we really wanted to start but life slapped us in the face once again.

Well guess what. It wasn't life that slapped us in the face it was our own unpreparedness. Often times the biggest battle in losing weight is breaking bad eating habits. The only way to break a bad habit and to deal with the withdrawal of it is to arm ourselves with the proper tools.

First thing first:
I'm not going to tell you what to eat but I will give you some clues.

1) If you look on the package and it has 100 ingredients in it - don't eat it. For example:

Hostess Cupcake - (I had one a couple of weeks ago so I know this and I was grossed out). Has a million and 3 ingredients (I didn't really count) and one of those ingredients was "vegetable and or ANIMAL shortening". Come on people!!! If I wanted bacon with my cupcake I would have made some.

2) If you look at the food and can identify every ingredient in it just by looking at it - eat it. For example:

Apples, Oranges, Pears, Rice, Celery, peanuts...catch my drift?

3) Try to go Organic as much as possible. I could go on and on and on about how our food is grown but you're better off watching a movie such as "Food Inc". I'd guarantee you it'll open up your eyes and you'll demand better quality food for your body.

4) If you're unsure how to make these great foods pick up some recipe books. Or just Google some low calorie recipes. Here's my favorite website www.calorie-count.com. It will tell you the calorie content of a bunch of foods, it has recipes, you can sign up for the community so you can talk to people and get advice, you can read about transformation stories. Awesome Awesome and Awesome!

Now that you know what food to buy and how you're going to make it go out and get a food scale. It has been so invaluable in my weight loss journey and it's cheap! I think I got "The Biggest Loser" scale for $20...maybe even less at Bed Bath and Beyond (they send coupons - I bet you can print one online!).

Now plan out some meals for a couple of days so you know what to expect. Figure out how many calories you should be eating (www.calorie-count.com, click on Tools, click on calorie target). Try to make 5 small meals - Breakfast, snack, Lunch, snack, Dinner.

Last but maybe THE MOST IMPORTANT thing is a food journal. Make it pretty, make it special, or manly ( I don't know gentlemen ...I just know I'm a girl and I love pretty notebooks), make it your best friend. This is going to be the mirror that you hold up to yourself everyday that keeps you focused on your goals. You're going to tell your food journal your deepest darkest secrets, desires, complaints, frustrations - OK maybe not all that but at least tell it what your eating, how much, and the # of calories. This will keep you true to Step #1 (I'll wait till you page through my blog so you can find it...waiting....waiting...really people??? you can't jump to step 2 without looking at step 1 - fine I'll tell you) HONESTY!

This doesn't have to be difficult. It just takes some planning. You don't need a food scale right away, you don't have to buy hundreds of dollars of food to pack your house with. All you have to do is plan. Plan for the first week and by Friday plan for the next week. Remember my blog "Small Steps Bring Huge Change"? (You really should have read it) - It's the small steps that we can do everyday that will lead to huge changes in our future. If you just plan a meal a day in advance and keep doing that every day, in 2 weeks you will see the weight come off!

Step 1 for Weight Loss

The first step to losing weight is not a magic pill, it's not a crazy workout, or a special diet. It's simple in theory but most of us don't do it:

Honesty.

Be honest with yourself. It can be difficult. It can make you sad. So just be prepared. Here's what happened to me (you knew I was just going to talk about myself didn't you?):

I was about 23 and started Weight Watchers. I decided this was going to be my ticket to success. I wrote down my points each day and spent a lot of time in my room away from the kitchen to hold back the temptation. The first couple of days I did awesome! I was excited, I was motivated, I couldn't wait to weigh myself. Then the 3rd day rolls in and the anxiety starts tugging at my stomach. This was the first time that I actually sat through it and thought about why I was feeling this way. I thought about why I wanted to eat when I was clearly not hungry. It brought up sad thoughts about past events but the most prevalent reason was boredom. I was bored. Then something this guy said (I don't remember who it was) punched me in the brain, "bored people are boring people" and I decided I didn't want to be boring. So I started reading. I read and read and read. I became so addicted to books that I would read until I was starving and I STILL didn't want to get up. But of course I did because starving doesn't work.

Whatever reason you eat or hold yourself back from working out - you have to push that reason to the front of your brain and deal with it. Do you eat crap because you don't know that it's crap? Well if you wrote it down and looked it up at www.calorie-count.com then you will see that it's crap and you can make a decision not to eat it so often. Did you're dad tell you that you were worthless? Well if he did that means that someone told him that HE was worthless...you can't believe everything you hear AND it's not going to serve you anyway. So let the past judgments go, they serve no purpose. Were you abused as a kid and feeding yourself to get over the fear, depression, and anger? Ask yourself, is this behavior making me happy? Do you want to relive the past with every cookie you eat and every pound you gain? Or do you want to work towards a healthier happier future?

Honesty will get you there. When you're honest with yourself you're better able to make a choice. Make a choice to stay exactly the same or to make a tiny change to feel better. You have the choice to be sad or to make yourself happy. I always choose to make myself happy because no one else has the ability to.

It's up to you!

Small Steps bring HUGE CHANGE

I was inspired to write this due to a comment that was posted about my HIIT 15 YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07Qqfcmb-8Y andhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyi9b7rdZNI

A young lady said "Wow I could never workout like that!" and I said "Hell yeah you can!" Ok well I didn't actually say those words. What I said was that I didn't start on my fitness path jumping crazy high, or doing jump lunges and sumo burpees. I started with baby steps. Those baby steps got me to where I am today.

I'm reading a book by Joel Osten called "The Slight Edge". It's an awesome book that shows you that you're big huge success stories didn't happen out of "luck" or in one day they actually happened out of mundane things done every single day. He talks about that those every day "simple" steps to success are so easy to do but they are also easy NOT to do. What separates those that succeed and those that fail is the choice TO DO or NOT TO DO those things that will lead to success.

So lets say with fitness. It's very easy to do 2o minutes of walking on a treadmill, around your neighborhood or up and down your hallway. The first day you attempt it you may not notice anything different about your shape. You may not see a change in your body for a couple of weeks. Then BAM the third week comes along and your suddenly 3 inches thinner and 2 lbs lighter. It wasn't some big miracle that happened to you on that day you measured yourself. It was actually the accumulation of three weeks of walking 20 minutes per day that made that change in your body.

So as easy as it is to just get up and walk around for 20 minutes it's also easy NOT to do it. Unfortunately for those who don't do the easy things everyday they won't see the change that they most desire. What will happen is that instead of seeing your shape change for the better you'll see it change for the worst. You'll gain ten more pounds each year. You're doctor will put you on cholesterol medication, your blood pressure will continue to rise, and your arteries will begin to harden. The "Slight Edge" works both ways. You can do the small healthy steps to improve your life or you can continue the unhealthy steps to worsen your life. It's up to you :) Either one is easy to do and easy NOT to do.

I started off with a promise to myself that I will do something physical each day. At first it was walking on the treadmill for 20 minutes. Then I started to challenge myself a little more and started jogging for 2 minutes and walking for 5 minutes. Then I wanted more and started doing light strength training. Then I felt stronger and wanted even more and did Chalean Extreme. THEN I FELT LIKE SUPERWOMAN and moved onto TurboFire. Now I'm unstoppable!!!

So yes you can get to this point but you just have to take baby steps towards it. It's the little tiny simple actions that we do each day that will determine our breakthrough success in the future. Be one of the success stories and start taking those baby steps!

Cya!